


I'm Not Gonna Teach Him How To Dance With You

by cantfuckinbelievethis (orphan_account)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Jealous!Ian, M/M, Wedding, dance instructor!Ian, emotional abuse tw, fuck u josh, i hate josh, i know as much about dancing as mickey does in this fic, i know nothing about instructing people on how to dance so most of this is bullshit, i love ellie, idk what else to tag, mickey's getting married!!!, sort of like the wedding planner only ian's a wedding dance instructor, svetlana's not a milkovich in this, this is a multi-chap fic!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-05-29 08:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6366808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cantfuckinbelievethis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mandy hires Ian as Mickey and his fiancee's dance instructor for their wedding...enough said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (Inspired by the song I'm Not Gonna Teach Him How To Dance by Black Kids). I know nothing about dancing lessons if you haven't noticed.

If you had asked Ian Gallagher a long time ago what he’d be doing with his life, his absolute last answer would have been teaching betrothed couples how to dance for their wedding. Sure, he liked dancing, but it was more what he did at the club than what people do at weddings.   
  
    It had all started when he’d been dancing at the club and had gone home with a dancing instructor for the night. Ian accidentally fell asleep after they hooked up and woke up the next morning to the dancing instructor pretty much straight out telling him he was shit at dancing. For some reason, this had absolutely infuriated Ian. Maybe it was because he always wanted to do his best at whatever he was doing, even if it was dancing in a gay club. The instructor offered him free dance classes, silently implying that Ian would be actually paying for them with his body, and Ian agreed.   
  
    Seven years later, Ian was a twenty four year old wedding dance instructor. He also instructed some dance lessons at the local community centre for some extra money, and also to give kids in the Southside a chance to learn to dance through other ways than he did. He really enjoyed it, so he figured that there had to be other Southside-born people that did too.   
  
    The only thing he hated about his job was the dreaded question from all soon-to-be married couples. Every first session, he was normally asked if he was married or even in a relationship. Seeing as it would’ve been unprofessional to tell them that he actually fucking didn’t _want_ to get married, and he had no interest in a relationship at the moment after years of blowing random guys at the club, he normally just said he was too busy with work for a boyfriend. He was always direct with his clients with the fact that he was gay. It wasn’t any of their fucking business, but he couldn’t stand people asking about his _wife_ or _girlfriend_. Also, when they knew, if they knew a gay couple getting married, he’d usually be referred to them as well. So being open about his sexuality was actually good for business.   
  
    Ian was sitting outside the studio having a smoke when Mandy Milkovich came storming into his life. Ian had noticed her standing in the parking lot, staring up at the studio, and he’d thought she was beautiful. Her black hair was pulled up into a ponytail, her nose ring glinted in the sun, and her eyeliner-rimmed blue eyes were stunning. If he were straight, he so would’ve asked her out. He found himself absently thinking a male version of her would be hot when Mandy had approached him.   
  
    ‘You the gay wedding dance instructor?’   
  
    Ian squinted up at her from his seat on the bench. ‘Are you asking me if I’m gay and a wedding dance instructor, or if I exclusively do to gay weddings?’   
  
    Mandy huffed. ‘Look, I heard there was a dance instructor that was gay and okay with doing gay weddings. My brother needs a dance instructor, not that the asshole will admit it, and he’s too much of a pussy to ask. I have to find the right guy or his dick of a fiancée will be up my ass about this for months. And I know my brother would rather have him up _his_ ass.’   
  
    Ian breathed out an exhale of smoke before saying, ‘Yes, I am gay and, yes, I am a dance instructor. Yes, I can do your brother—his wedding, I mean. They get one free lesson for me to gauge how much I’ll get them to pay me, which is always a private one. If they’re really shit, they’re looking at around eight lessons at sixty dollars each. Also, he can get group lessons, double lessons with another couple, or private lessons. _And_ if he and his fiancée need separate lessons for whatever reason, it will be at around forty dollars each a lesson.’   
  
    Mandy nodded. ‘I can do that. I’m paying for them as a present or else my brother will never do it. Can I book their first lesson now?’   
  
    Ian nodded and they quickly figured out when they were all free. Mandy said the couple would come in at the same time for the first one, and then they would decide whether they would want to have separate lessons.   
  
    ‘Alright, tell them to meet me here in studio room C on the 15th. Nice to meet you, Mandy Milkovich.’ Ian stood and turned to go back inside.   
  
    ‘You too, Ian Gallagher.’   
  
*   
  
Ian was busy dancing to a Black Kids song to make up some time before Mandy’s brother and his fiancée came in. What he didn’t expect was an early arrival. He never usually had his music on loud, so he could hear the begrudgingly awed, ‘Shit,’ from behind him.   
  
    He turned to see who was no doubt Mandy’s brother standing there staring at him. He blinked, completely shocked by the feeling that spread through him when he looked into those gorgeous blue eyes. Shit, this guy was hot. Ian quickly dragged himself out of the staring and switched off the music.   
  
    ‘Uh, hey, you’re Mandy’s brother, right?’ Ian crossed the small distance between them to shake his hand. He felt tingles in his palm even when they pulled away. ‘I’m Ian. You’re early.’   
  
    ‘I’m also Mickey,’ he said, seeming sheepish as he rubbed his lip with his thumb, which Ian could not stop staring at. ‘I, uh, decided to come earlier to talk to you first. Sorry for wasting your time, man, but I really don’t think my fiancée and I need dancing lessons. I don’t even want to have a fuckin’ first dance, so if you could just say you can’t do it or whatever when he turns up, that’d be good.’   
  
    Ian, appalled by the idea that Mickey would be going anywhere, quickly said, ‘Sorry, Mandy already paid me in advance for the first three lessons. And, besides, the first dance is a crucial part of the reception, you know. It’s important that you do well.’   
  
    Mickey arched his eyebrows and crossed his arms, seemingly frustrated that Ian didn’t agree right away. ‘Oh, really? How fuckin’ so?’   
  
    ‘Your first dance as husbands is really the beginning of the rest of your lives,’ Ian bullshitted, ‘I can teach you whatever style you want, but I’ll make it easy to learn. Knowing how to dance well rids you of the nerves and lets you have that perfect first experience as a married couple. It’s when you’re first in each other’s arms, relaxed and leaning into each other.’   
  
    When Mickey gulped, Ian realised he had taken a few steps forward during his speech and was _way_ too close to be professional. He didn’t take any steps away because he didn’t want to bring anymore attention than what was necessary with how close he was, but he did lean back. And, sue him, Mickey smelt _good_.   
  
    ‘I guess Josh would appreciate it,’ Mickey admitted quietly, almost breathing it.   
  
    Ian blinked in confusion. ‘Who?’   
  
    Mickey’s dark eyebrows arched again. ‘My fiancée?’   
  
    Ian nodded. ‘Oh, yeah, yeah. Anyway, do you still want to quit?’   
  
    A loud huff echoed in the room from the doorway. ‘Mickey, are you trying to fucking get out of this?’   
  
    The redhead quickly shuffled away from Mickey, realising that this was probably Josh. ‘No, not anymore. Right, Mick?’   
  
    Mickey nodded, seeming resigned.   
  
    ‘I’m sorry, do you know my fiancée?’ Josh smiled tightly at Ian.   
  
    Ian frowned in confusion and shook his head. ‘Uh, no, we just met.’   
  
    ‘Then I’d prefer you not nickname him. No offence; it’s just not very professional, is it?’   
  
    ‘Josh, come the fuck on,’ Mickey groaned. ‘The guy was just trying to be nice.’   
  
    Ian quickly shook his head. ‘No, no, he’s right. I apologise, Mr Milkovich.’   
  
    ‘Mickey’s fine,’ Mickey said.   
  
    ‘Okay. So, do you and Josh have a song, or an idea of the style of dance you want to do?’ Ian quickly spun around to his laptop, where Spotify was open. As long as the couple didn’t want Taylor Swift, he was usually all set.   
  
    ‘Not real—’   
  
    Josh cut Mickey off, saying, ‘We want to do an elegant waltz along to Say Anything by Anderson East.’   
  
    ‘Nice song,’ Ian said absently as he searched for it. He spun back around to see Josh leaning against Mickey, arm around the shorter man’s shoulders. He paused for a second before continuing, ‘Okay, the waltz doesn’t require any stretching, but if you’d remove your extra clothes to be comfortable. Shoes as well. And just swing your arms a little just to get loose. You won’t have to do this on your wedding day, of course, but just for now.’   
  
    Ian’s mouth went dry as soon as he caught a look at Mickey’s bare arms. Why did the man have to wear a sleeveless shirt? Throughout the first lesson, he could barely take his eyes off Mickey. However, no matter how much he stared at the beautiful man in front of him, it didn’t block out the annoying whining Josh was doing.   
  
    ‘For fuck’s sake, Mickey, why are you so hopeless at this?’ Josh huffed, stepping back and crossing his arms. ‘Seriously, babe, if you can’t pull off this little dance…’   
  
    Ian clenched his jaw. He saw how hard Mickey had been trying throughout the lesson even though he clearly had no natural rhythm to speak of, and he was too tense and embarrassed to do that well. At Mickey’s frustrated and slightly hurt look, he decided to step in.   
  
    ‘Maybe Mickey would benefit from private lessons. It would also cost you less if you were to do most of the lessons separately. Since you seem to be a faster learner, you would have less lessons to pay for.’   
  
    Josh gave Ian a condescending look. ‘I really don’t think that’s necessary and, besides, Mickey’s sister is paying for it, not us.’   
  
    Ian bit his tongue from saying something snappy in response and was surprised when Mickey spoke up.   
  
    ‘Josh, I’d rather Mandy didn’t have to pay too much, anyway…’ When Josh didn’t give a response, Mickey leant closely to the taller man and whispered, ‘Baby, please.’   
  
    Ian gulped, trying not to show how much those words breathed out between Mickey’s lips affected him. He only wished he was saying them to him.   
  
    Josh huffed again, but this time a smile came to his lips and he gruffly said, ‘Fine.’   
  
    Ian cracked a smile at the thought of spending some time with Mickey alone and clapped his hands together. ‘Alright. Then please come to your next lessons with your wedding shoes, if you have them, and lets figure out when we can book them.’   
  
    They figured out that Ian would be seeing Josh in one and a half weeks and Mickey in a week on Monday.   
  
    ‘Monday,’ Ian muttered to himself as he watched them leave. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and support on the last chapter, guys! Gave me so much inspiration and motivation to do this chapter!!

It was fifteen minutes before Mickey was supposed to show and Ian was nervous. He wasn’t exactly sure why. All he knew was that he was insanely attracted to this man, who had a fiancée, and he had to spend an hour alone with him.   
  
    ‘Orange boy, pay attention,’ Svetlana, another instructor, commanded when he had lost focus thinking about Mickey. ‘I need you to help me.’   
  
    ‘Lana, the guy’s the janitor; he’s allowed to come into the studio when it’s empty. He’s there to empty the trash,’ Ian sighed.   
  
    ‘No, I know people. That piece of shit is planning something,’ Svetlana seethed, eyes narrowing.   
  
    ‘You think you’ve got problems with the fucking janitor? Well, I’m attracted to one of my clients — and he’s _engaged_.’   
  
    The Russian shrugged. ‘You think with penis. I am not surprised.’   
  
    Ian gave her a dry look. ‘No, seriously, what am I going to do?’   
  
    ‘Fuck him.’   
  
    ‘I can’t do that!’   
  
    ‘Why not?’   
  
    ‘He’s _engaged_. I used to do married men, but not anymore.’ Ian tapped his fingers on his shoe. ‘I’m just going to have to push through it…Mickey deserves a good wedding, even if his fiancée is a dick.’   
  
    ‘Is he really dick, or are you still just thinking with yours?’ Svetlana arched an eyebrow at him.   
  
    ‘No, he’s seriously a dick. I mean, when we were practising—’   
  
    A knock at the door interrupted Ian and he jumped up to see Mickey awkwardly enter. He was dressed in a sleeveless shirt again, damn him, and sweatpants. He was barefoot, but he held his wedding shoes in his hands. Ian felt a little jolt in his chest when he realised that Mickey was staring at him. The redhead had done his best to look good today, all the while reminding himself that it was ridiculous to dress up for someone who was getting married.   
  
    ‘I will leave you to your client, Orange Boy,’ Svetlana announced, breaking Ian and Mickey out of their staring. As she walked past Ian, she whispered, ‘Just fuck him already. Tension is unbearable.’   
  
    Ian shot her a look. He was sure that Mickey hadn’t heard her, but he was annoyed that she would even take the risk.   
  
    Once Svetlana had left, Ian cleared his throat awkwardly and gestured to the shoes. ‘Do you want to put those on and we’ll get started?’   
  
    Mickey nodded and quickly slipped on the shoes. He faced Ian and bit his lip, looking awkward as all hell. Ian thought for a moment how cute he looked like that before shaking himself out of it and stepping forward.   
  
    ‘Do you mind if I’m your partner — dancing partner? Some people prefer to just dance with the…well, the air.’   
  
    Mickey snorted. ‘I think that’d look fuckin’ stupid, Gallagher. I don’t give a shit if you dance with me.’   
  
    Ian nodded, taking a deep breath and another step forward. Mickey may not have given a shit, but Ian was almost terrified of getting too close.   
  
    He placed his hands where they were supposed to be on Mickey and told him to adjust his hands slightly to where they were supposed to be. He found the longer he had his hands on Mickey, the less awkward he felt. It felt natural. They slowly went through the steps along to the music, which Ian was particularly sick of hearing.   
  
    ‘Man, can we take a break?’ Mickey asked twenty minutes in. ‘This fuckin’ song…I just, I can’t listen to it again.’   
  
    Ian nodded, pulling away to turn off the music and handed Mickey a water bottle. ‘Do you not like the song?’   
  
    The brunette shrugged, sitting down on the floor and spreading his legs outwards as he leant back on his hands. ‘It’s alright. I didn’t exactly pick it, but it’s nice, I guess. It’s just fuckin’ listening to it over and over…’   
  
    ‘I get what you mean,’ Ian said and nodded. ‘I have to listen to the same damn songs over and over again. Do you know how many times Say Anything has been chosen?’   
  
    ‘Didn’t know it was a popular song,’ Mickey laughed.   
  
    The redhead looked at him with a horrified look, sitting down across from him and crossing his legs. ‘It _isn’t_ ; that’s what I don’t understand. Somehow all of the engaged couples in the world manage to find it, though.’   
  
    ‘Well,’ Mickey began, looking down at his shoes and picking at them a little. It was almost as if he was nervous or some shit, but Ian knew that couldn’t possibly be it. ‘If it were you getting married, what would you pick?’   
  
    Ian laughed. ‘I’m probably never getting married.’   
  
    Mickey looked up, eyebrows furrowing and Ian found himself thinking that Mickey had the most expressive eyebrows ever. ‘Why not?’   
  
    Ian shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Haven’t dated anyone in…a few years.’   
  
    ‘Why not?’   
  
    Staring into those blue eyes, Ian thought, for a moment, that maybe he could tell someone the truth — the truth behind the bullshit of not wanting to be married. Maybe he could tell him how he wasn’t sure if he could find anyone he felt worthy of. The years at the club had been fun, sure, especially at the time, but it ended up leaving him with low self-esteem. He remembered when he used to be able to get almost any guy he wanted and he was sure he could. As time moved on, though, it just occurred to him that the guys he got weren’t all that great and they sure let him know that he wasn’t all that great either.   
  
    He averted his eyes from Mickey’s and just said the usual line, ‘I keep too busy with work for a boyfriend.’ He couldn’t help but add, ‘Besides, not like there’s many guys to meet while teaching wedding dance lessons…’ His eyes almost involuntarily met Mickey’s again. ‘No single guys anyway.’ When Mickey blinked, Ian quickly looked away and stood. ‘Come on, we gotta keep going.’   
  
    ‘Wait,’ Mickey said and Ian turned to look at him. ‘If you _did_ get married, what song?’   
  
    Ian pressed his lips together for a moment before smiling a little and turning back to the computer. ‘A lot of people, with weddings, go for the lyrics that mean something, which is nice and all, but I like this song and you can barely understand what she’s saying.’ He quickly started playing Stones by Bec Sandridge. ‘Besides, the beat is so repetitive, it’s easiest to dance to.’   
  
    ‘You’re a fuckin’ dance instructor, why would you care what’s easiest?’   
  
    ‘My partner probably wouldn’t be a dance instructor. Besides, at weddings, it’s not about a fancy or intricate dance. It’s not about doing it _perfectly_ , but as long as you do it well and are slow and comfortable…It’s kinda like magic, actually.’ Ian turned bright red at this confession. ‘I mean, I see a lot of my clients during their first dance and it’s nice.’   
  
    Mickey shrugged. ‘Alright, Gallagher, teach me how to dance to this song.’   
  
    ‘But this isn’t your wedding song…’ Ian frowned.   
  
    ‘Teach me how to dance to this song,’ Mickey repeated adamantly.   
  
    Ian shrugged and came closer, placing his hands back on Mickey. ‘Now, I’ve noticed that dancing must be hard for you. You know, with your big dick walk and all.’   
  
    Mickey snorted out a laugh, leaning back a little to get a proper look at the redhead’s face. ‘The fuck do you mean?’   
  
    ‘Come on, man, you know how you walk,’ Ian said, rolling his eyes and continuing on. ‘So maybe don’t think of dancing as walking. Sure, you’re taking steps, but if you just move your hips in time with your steps, you’ll find them easier and smoother.’ Mickey followed Ian, moving his hips and copying his steps in time with the music, and Ian grinned. ‘There you go! Much better.’   
  
    Mickey smiled a little like he was proud of himself and Ian’s heart fluttered. Ian restrained his own smile as Mickey looked up at him and said, ‘This song _is_ a _lot_ easier for some reason.’   
  
    ‘The beats are more noticeable and easier to count,’ Ian told him.   
  
   _I wish you were near_  
 _Oh how you know_  
 _I can’t stand_  
 _Distance_  
 _And those_  
  
 _Love letters on road_  
 _Hands tied to phone_  
 _I’m trying to build this house from home_   
  
    ‘It’s a nice song, Gallagher,’ Mickey said softly. ‘I’m even thinking of stealing it from you.’   
  
    Ian laughed. ‘No fucking way, man. My wedding song.’   
  
    ‘Okay, so is there anything you’d add in here for, like, I don’t know…fuckin’ flair or some shit? I mean, these steps are good and all, but pretty repetitive.’ Mickey turned a little read as he asked the question.   
  
    Ian grinned and spun him around, surprising him, and drawing him even closer. ‘That better?’   
  
    The music began to slow.   
  
    Mickey laughed. ‘Sure.’   
  
     _My mind_  
 _Is gone_  
 _Like a rolling stone_  
 _Out the window_  
  
 _This time_  
 _I’ve flown and_  
 _They’re playing sad, old songs_  
 _On the radio…_   
  
    Ian spun Mickey one more time and pulled him back in as the music came to a stop. They stood there for a moment, frozen in time, and Ian realised how close they were. They breathed in unison, eyes searching one another’s. Ian was about to clear his throat and move away, realising how inappropriate — if tempting — this was. Before he could, Mickey’s hand was at the back of his neck and the brunette was softly pressing his lips against Ian’s. For a moment, Ian thought that maybe he was dreaming because there was no way this could be happening, was there? Dream or not, he shut his eyes and savoured Mickey kissing him gently. The song was on repeat and when it started again, it shoved them out of the moment.   
  
    Mickey pulled away quickly, blue eyes wide. ‘Fuck.’ Before Ian could say anything, Mickey was jumping out of his arms and grabbing his stuff. ‘I’m so fuckin’ sorry; I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry; I’ve gotta go.’   
  
    ‘Mick—’ Ian reached out for Mickey, only for him to step back and head toward the door.   
  
    ‘I’m sorry, Ian; I can’t do this. I—I’ll see you next week, Gallagher.’   
  
    As Mickey made his exit, Ian knew he should feel guilty for wanting that so much. He should feel ashamed for wanting _Mickey_ so much. However, all he could find himself feeling was flutters in his stomach when Mickey said his name, the tingling in his lips where Mickey’s own touched, and the deep-seated _need_ to do that again.   
  
    Ian couldn’t help but crack a small smile, touching his bottom lip with his thumb. ‘Next week….Sure.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love both of the songs mentioned in this chapter, but Stones (Ian's chosen song) is definitely the one I prefer! 
> 
> I found the song when watching this adorable Australian marriage equality vid:   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8fi6oSKo7s  
> (or We Will - A Short Film for Australian Marriage Equality in 2016 on Youtube)


	3. Chapter 3

Svetlana, Ian, and their other dancing instructor friend, Ellie, were sitting in the coffee shop they usually met up at on Wednesday, which was the one day a week they all had free. Ellie was a ballet instructor, although, with her dark dreads and Jamaican accent, a lot of people don’t expect her to be so graceful. Ian himself had mistaken her for a salsa or flamenco teacher, mainly because of her personality. Usually it was easy to tell who taught what based on their personality, but Ellie and Ian seemed to be the exceptions to the rule. When Ellie had first met Ian, she had said, ‘I didn’t know they’ve opened a Magic Mike class here.’  
  
    Ellie was usually very blunt and unashamed, which was why she and Lana got along so well. At that moment, she was complaining about the lack of action she’d gotten lately. ‘These’ — She motioned to her breasts — ‘Haven’t been touched by anyone in a _long_ time—’  
  
    Ian stirred his coffee as he stared off into space dreamily. He, being a pathetic asshole, was wondering what song he should choose to dance with Mickey next week. Maybe something a little romantic?  
  
    ‘—Okay, well, anyone but me…and that one sixty year old on the bus who “ _accidentally_ ” grabbed one.’ Ellie paused, eyebrows raising as she came to a horrific realisation. ‘I’m going to die alone.’  
  
    Or maybe something a little bouncier? Maybe he could teach Mickey how to grind properly? He was sure he could sprout some bullshit about how it’s good to grind at your wedding…  
  
    When Ellie received no response, she huffed and crossed her arms. ‘Well, aren’t we all social today?’  
  
    Ian, in the middle of a daydream about full lips and soft hair, sighed contently and still didn’t answer.  
  
    ‘Orange Boy is very self-involved lately. He is busy swooning over short, grumpy client who is engaged to another man.’ Lana took a casual sip of her coffee.  
  
    ‘ _Ian_!’ Ellie gasped. She brought a hand to her chest as if she was scandalised before pausing and leaning forward eagerly. ‘Have you fucked him yet?’  
  
    Ian snapped out of his reverie at the mention of his name. He immediately knew who she was talking about and shot a glare at Lana. ‘Did you _have_ to tell her?’  
  
    ‘The question is more like why didn’t _you_ tell me?’ Ellie frowned. ‘You know I love gossip.’  
  
    ‘Exactly why I didn’t tell you anything. You’re kind of a shit-stirrer.’  
  
    Before the outraged Ellie could respond, they were approached by Mandy, coffee in hand and a smirk on her face. Mandy seemed like someone who always knew more than she was letting on, and Ian was a bit unnerved by it — if only because now he felt like he had something to hide.  
  
    ‘’Sup,’ Mandy greeted.  
  
    ‘Oh, hey, Mandy!’ Ian greeted happily. ‘How’s it going?’  
  
    The brunette shrugged, smiling back. ‘It’s going. I’m just wondering how _you’re_ doing with my brother.’  
  
    ‘If I know our Ian,’ Ellie said slyly, ‘He’s doing your brother _very well_.’  
  
    As Svetlana cackled, Ian quickly covered as best as he could. ‘I’m doing very well _with_ your brother. Mickey’s picking it up a bit more quickly with one-on-one lessons.’  
  
    ‘I bet,’ Lana murmured under her breath and Ellie giggled.  
  
    Mandy smirked for a moment, clearly understanding what they were trying to say, and just shook her head. ‘Good. Nice to see you, Ian. I’d better get going.’  
  
    Ian, totally and completely humiliated, nodded with a face about as red as his hair.  
  
    Mandy spun around, about to walk off, when she turned back around just as quickly and said, ‘Hey. I’m having a party Saturday night. You guys wanna come?’  
  
    ‘What is this party for?’ Lana asked, eyebrow arched.  
  
    Mandy shrugged. ‘An excuse to get wasted.’  
  
    ‘Well, I’m in!’ Ellie exclaimed.  
  
    Ian bit his cheek, watching as Svetlana also accepted the invitation, before hesitantly saying, ‘Yeah, sure, sounds good.’  
  
    Mandy gave them her address, telling them when it started, before heading off. Ian stared down at the napkin she had written the address on, wondering if this was _at all_ a good idea.  
  
*  
  
It was half an hour in to their lesson, and Josh had not yet mentioned anything about Ian kissing his fiancée so he assumed that Mickey hadn’t said anything. He wasn’t sure whether he was happy or annoyed at that. One thing he knew he was annoyed at, however, was dancing with Josh. Josh was a natural, no doubt about it, but he was also infuriatingly precise and boring. He didn’t want to stray from the one song, he moved only just the right amount of loose, and his expression never changed from the neutral look he had plastered on his face. He already missed Mickey, even though Mickey stepped on his feet more than once every ten minutes.  
  
    ‘Do you want to add anything to the dance?’ Ian asked. ‘Something special? I know this dance is a little repetitive.’  
  
    Josh smirked a little and suddenly Ian missed the neutral look. ‘There’s no point. Mickey couldn’t pull off anything special. He can barely dance the _repetitive_ dance for fuck’s sake.’ He snorted a little.  
  
    Ian’s jaw clenched. ‘Well, maybe if you gave him a chance, he might surprise you. He’s certainly making the effort to do well.’  
  
    Josh’s eyes suddenly went cold as he looked at Ian. ‘You know, _Ian,_ I would really appreciate it if you would stop telling me how to handle _my_ relationship. You’re not being very professional.’  
  
     _What are you going to do about it, man? Put a bad review on Yelp?_ Usually, in this situation, Ian would just ask him to leave if he’s going to bitch about his fiancée in front of him and be rude in general. He had enough of a good reputation that he didn’t have to deal with this shit, but he knew that if he did that, that’s the end of the lessons with Mickey. And, despite his logical side rattling in its cage, he didn’t want to let go of that just yet.  
  
    Instead, he just nodded and said pleasantly, ‘Sure. I apologise. I shouldn’t be speaking out of place.’  
  
    He fought the urge to stamp on Josh’s foot when a smug look spread over his face at Ian’s submissive response. Before he could even attempt to crush the dick’s toes, Josh pulled away.  
  
    ‘I think that’ll be enough for today. Our meetings can probably be cut down to half an hour, anyway, since I’m doing so well. Feel free to keep charging the regular amount, though,’ Josh said, before muttering under his breath. ‘Cheap bitch might as well pay for something.’  
  
    Ian held himself back from full-on punching this prick. Despite only having spoken to Mandy twice, he was still fond of her and hated hearing this asshole talk about her like that. He wondered if Mickey had any idea about how his fiancée _really_ acted when he wasn’t around. Did he act this way toward Mandy to her face?  
  
    Josh packed up his stuff and left without another word, tapping on his phone with one hand while he carried out his briefcase with another. Ian stood, frozen in his rage, until he heard Josh pull out of the car park. As soon as his car sped away, the redhead picked up a plastic chair by the stereo and tossed it across the room with a frustrated shout.  
  
    Panting, he turned to see Ellie standing in the doorway, dark eyebrows arched high on her face. Her arms were crossed and she was leaning against the doorframe. They stared at each other for a moment before she sighed, uncrossed her arms. ‘I would comment on the burst of sexual frustration-charged anger that just happened, but I need your help. I found a hammer in Lana’s locker, and I think she’s planning on threatening the janitor again tonight and she can’t be suspended again.’  
  
    Ian sighed, letting the tension drop from his shoulders, before following her down the hall. ‘Wait, what were you doing looking through Lana’s locker?’  
  
    Ellie merely shrugged, suspiciously stuffing what definitely looked like a lock-picking kit in her pocket. ‘It was open when I got there; I don’t know.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so short and late. I'm really busy at the moment and have little to no inspiration for anything. At some point I will get going on It Felt Like Home again, but watching Shameless makes me a little depressed, so. But I hope you enjoyed this! (I WANT TO PUNCH JOSH SO BAD THO UGH I HATE MY OWN CHARACTER SO MUCH)


	4. Chapter 4

Ellie, Ian, and Svetlana stood outside the door to Mandy’s house, where the party was clearly already fully going inside. Ian stared at the front door as if it was some kind of monster that would swallow his fist as soon as it made contact with the wood. Was this even a good idea? Maybe Mickey would be pissed that Ian was invading his personal life. The dance instructor already figured that Josh would be mad, but he couldn’t find it within him to give a shit about that. Mickey, however, Mickey was a whole other story.  
  
    ‘Oh, for fuck’s sake!’ Svetlana suddenly burst angrily, opening the door rather than knocking like Ian had planned on doing.  
  
    In hindsight, it was probably a stupid idea seeing as the party was so loud they wouldn’t have heard anyway. Ellie and Svetlana strode into the party as if they already belonged, heading right for the drink table. Ian followed them in, shutting the door behind him and hovering awkwardly by the entrance. He didn’t really feel like drinking tonight, and couldn’t do much anyway because of his meds, so he didn’t go with Svetlana and Ellie. The aforementioned pair were already in the middle of the crowded lounge room, dancing with random people.  
  
    Mandy’s house was bigger than Ian expected. The lounge room had been cleared of most furniture, the couch pushed to the side where a group of people were lounging. Ian wandered around the room in search of Mandy, wanting to actually see her and thank her for letting them come to the party. He rounded a corner to look into the kitchen. The last thing he expected to see was his brother leant over the kitchen sink, vomiting up his insides into it. An older blonde girl was rubbing his back and chastising him.  
  
    ‘Carl, what the fuck?’ Ian burst in shock.  
  
    Carl jumped, turning around for a split second to see Ian and say, ‘Oh, hey, dude,’ before spinning back around and continuing to vomit.  
  
    ‘What the fuck are you doing here? How do you know Mandy?’ Ian asked, approaching him and scrunching his face up at the smell.  
  
    The blonde girl answered for him, ‘He’s actually _my_ friend from work, and Mandy’s my girlfriend. I’m Karen.’  
  
    The redhead smiled at her. ‘Oh, I didn’t know Mandy had a girlfriend; nice to meet you. I’m Ian, Carl’s brother. Mandy hired me to be Mickey’s wedding dance instructor.’  
  
    ‘Oh, _right. You’re Ian_.’ Karen’s lips curled into a knowing smirk and Ian frowned. ‘You’re cuter than Mandy described you. Do you want me to find Mickey for you?’  
  
    ‘I-I was actually looking for Mandy…’ Ian laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.  
  
    Karen put a hand on her hip and grinned at him teasingly. ‘How am I supposed to trust you with my girlfriend’s whereabouts? What if you’re some kind of creep?’  
  
    Carl shook his head, leaning over and vomiting more before pointing at Ian. ‘Good guy.’  
  
    Ian pressed his lips together. ‘I realise that probably didn’t add to my credibility, but it’s true. Also, I’m gay, so I’m not really going to attack your girlfriend.’  
  
    Karen shrugged, eyeing him. ‘I’m pretty sure she could take you anyway.’ She grinned proudly at the thought, biting her bottom lip as if she was imagining it. ‘Once you’re done talking to her, get her to come down here to me. She’s upstairs in her room. Second door to the left.’  
  
    Ian chuckled at Karen’s cheeky expression before nodding and heading off toward the stairs. Once he reached the door, he paused, hearing people talking in the room next to Mandy’s. He took slow, quiet steps back and listened closely.  
  
    ‘I ever tell you how fucking gorgeous you are?’ Josh’s raspy voice said. When Mickey began to protest, there was a kissing noise and Josh continued, ‘Seriously. Fucking. Gorgeous. Can’t wait to be married to you. You’ll finally be _mine_.’  
  
    ‘We should probably get back to the party,’ Mickey responded, voice filled with happiness and Ian frowned.  
  
    ‘Just one more minute.’  
  
    Ian stepped away from the door, entirely fucking confused. How is Josh that nice, if a bit possessive, when they’re alone, but a total fucking asshole when Mickey’s not around?  
  
    Ian knocked on Mandy’s door and his eyes widened when she opened the door and squealed, ‘IAN!’ She had a slight smirk to her face that he really didn’t understand, but she quickly wrapped her arms around him before he could say anything.  
  
    ‘Ian?’ he heard muffled from behind the door from the room Mickey and Josh were in, and Mickey quickly came out, Josh following. Mandy and Ian parted to face the couple.  
  
    ‘What the fuck is _he_ doing here?’ Josh spat as Mickey asked in confusion, ‘What the fuck are you doing here?’  
  
    ‘I invited him, fucknuts.’ Mandy smirked and wrapped an arm around Ian’s shoulders. ‘Come on, _Ian_ , we should probably get back to the party.’  
  
    Ian followed Mandy back downstairs, refusing to even so much as glance at the couple. He wasn’t sure who he was mad at, but he was definitely mad at someone.  
  
*  
  
Svetlana ground against Ian, arms around his neck as they danced. Ian had decided to just ignore Josh and Mickey, and have some fun. And he had. He had danced with almost everyone, talked with Carl, and played beer pong against Mandy and Karen. During this time, he had noticed that Karen and Mandy had been staring at Svetlana an awful lot. And apparently Lana had noticed it too.  
  
    ‘Do you think they’re going to ask me for threesome?’ Lana asked, pursing her lips. ‘I wouldn’t be opposed. They are good-looking couple.’  
  
    Ian laughed. ‘Maybe you should go and ask.’  
  
    ‘I will talk to blonde first. You go and scope out the angrier one for me,’ Lana ordered before breaking off from him and heading for Karen.  
  
    Ian, rolling his eyes, headed toward Mandy with no intention of asking about a threesome. No, he had some bigger fish to fry.  
  
    He jumped up onto the counter next to her, nudging her with his foot. ‘Hey.’  
  
    Mandy nodded at him in greeting. ‘Having a good time?’  
  
    Ian nodded enthusiastically, already feeling a bit of a buzz and deciding that he’d had enough. He put down his half-full cup next to him before facing Mandy. ‘So, I have a question for you.’  
  
    ‘Shoot.’ Mandy chugged the rest of her drink before tossing her cup away.  
  
    ‘Is Josh an asshole or is he a nice guy? Also, is Mickey happy?’ Ian blurted. Shit, maybe he was more drunk than he’d thought. ‘Just asking for a friend.’ _Smooth, Ian; real smooth._  
  
    ‘Well…’ Mandy paused, seeming to think about it a little. ‘He’s nice to me and everyone to our faces, and he’s nice to Mickey. And when he _isn’t_ nice to Mickey, Mickey puts it down to jealousy. So when he’s an asshole to someone he considers a threat, say, _you_ , Mickey excuses it because “he’s just a little jealous, Mandy”.’ Mandy scoffed. ‘Mickey doesn’t really get that Josh is just usually a dick to most people. Josh puts on his whole sweet-talking shit, like the kind of crap he pulled upstairs.’ Ian frowned, feigning confusion, and Mandy narrowed her eyes. ‘Come the fuck off it, Ian, you clearly heard just as much as I did. Anyway, he does that and Mickey assumes that that is how he _really_ is. So, to answer your question, I personally think that Josh is a fucking two-faced twat with a shitty, manipulative attitude.’ Her face had turned into a cold expression for a minute, eyes stone, before slapping on a pleasant smile. ‘But Mickey’s happy, so I’m happy.’  
  
    Ian, thrown off by the sudden change in expression, stuttered out, ‘So…Mickey’s happy, but Josh is kind of an asshole?’  
  
    Mandy nodded, eyeing him for a moment. ‘Maybe you should ask Mickey about it…’ Her eyes shifted to over Ian’s shoulder. ‘If you’ll excuse me, your hot dancer friend is chatting up my girlfriend.’ She huffed, standing. ‘ _Finally_. We’ve had our eye on her all night.’  
  
    The redhead barely heard Mandy as he bit his lip and finally looked at Mickey from across the room. Although he hadn’t been looking at Mickey this entire time, he somehow knew where Mickey was the entire time. Like some kind of fucked up GPS.  
  
    Mickey was standing alone, sipping a beer. When his eyes met Ian’s, he nodded toward the stairs. Ian bit his lip for a second, thinking about whether it was a good idea, before deciding, fuck it, why not? He hopped off the counter and followed Mickey as he ascended the stairs. Just as he reached the top, he saw Mickey step into the room from before. He quickly followed, shutting the door behind them.  
  
    Mickey was leaning against a set of drawers, looking hot as hell with his arms crossed like that. Ian gulped a little before sitting down, only realising a second too late he sat down on the bed. That probably seemed a little presumptuous. Rather than getting off the bed, he just stayed, deciding that it was probably weirder to move now.  
  
    The brunette’s jaw was clenched for a moment, and he seemed a little annoyed, before he said, ‘What the fuck are you doing here, Gallagher?’  
  
    Ian shuffled in his seat awkwardly, looking down at his hands. ‘Mandy invited me…’  
  
    ‘Yeah, I get _that_ ,’ Mickey huffed. ‘But, c’mon man, you must’ve known this is over the line.’  
  
    The redhead, suddenly annoyed as well, stood from the bed and took a step closer to Mickey. ‘I’m the one who’s “ _over the line_ ”? You’re the one that kissed me!’  
  
    ‘Shut the fuck up,’ Mickey hissed, looking around as if Josh was going to pop out of somewhere. ‘Look, I said I was sorry about that, didn’t I? But that doesn’t mean you have the right to turn up to my _sister’s_ house and hang around. It probably wouldn’t have been a problem if we hadn’t kissed, but we did, so…’  
  
    ‘Actually, _you_ kissed _me. We_ didn’t kiss,’ Ian lied, trying to prove a point.  
  
    From the slight smirk on Mickey’s face, he clearly wasn’t doing too well. His smirk had a hint of annoyance to it, but he also seemed sad. It was a strange mix of emotions on his face, but none of them were good. It made Ian _really_ fucking confused.  
  
    ‘Sure thing, Gallagher, whatever makes you sleep at night.’  
  
    ‘I'll sleep fine. _I’m_ not the one cheating on my asshole fiancée,’ Ian snapped.  
  
    The smirk dropped from Mickey’s face and he looked guilty now. ‘Yeah, well, I’m not going to keep doing it. It was a once off. And don’t fucking call him an asshole! You don’t know one fucking thing about Josh.’  
  
    ‘I know he’s a complete dick,’ Ian argued. He decided to just fucking go for it and assume the hell out of this situation. ‘I know you’re not _really_ happy. I know you know he’s not a good guy.’ The redhead took a step closer, unable to help himself. ‘I know you’re really attracted to me.’  
  
    To Ian’s surprise, Mickey sneered. ‘You can fuck right off, Gallagher. You don’t know shit about me, either.’  
  
    Mickey shoved Ian out of his way, storming out the door and down the stairs. Ian huffed out a breath, realising how fucking stupid he had been. He wandered downstairs, collecting Ellie and heading off to leave. He glanced back at where Mickey was standing with Josh, arm wrapped around him. Mickey made eye-contact with him before turning away to kiss Josh.  
  
    Ian sighed, turning back to leave.  
  
    You know what they say, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a free day, so I figured I'd write this :) I feel like Ian and Mickey are a bit more showing their flaws in this chapter. And Mandy is just being awesome.


	5. Chapter 5

It was Monday and Ian was freaking the fuck out. Mickey was supposed to come in any minute now and as much as he was worried that he _would_ turn up, he was even more worried that he _wouldn’t_. And, honestly, just how fucked up was that?   
  
    He should be praying he can get out of this fucked up triangle he managed to find himself in. It wasn’t even a good kind of triangle where Mickey was really wanting to leave his fiancée, and he and Ian were fucking on the daily. No, he somehow ended up in this _My Best Friend’s Wedding_ situation where he was chasing and chasing and getting nowhere, because no one was chasing him. It was a stupid fucking triangle. It wasn’t even a triangle. It was like a straight line. A stupid, fucking, sexless, straight line. However, when he complained about all of this to Svetlana and Ellie, they had no sympathy.   
  
    ‘That was the most excruciating rant I’ve ever heard in my life,’ Ellie groaned, turning to Svetlana. ‘Mother Russia, care to comment?’   
  
    Svetlana looked up as if she hadn’t been paying attention the whole time. ‘Sorry, what? I was too busy thinking of my sexy triangle.’ She shot a teasing smirk to Ian who scowled in response.   
  
    Ellie grinned. ‘Still getting with hot and hotter, huh?’   
  
    The brunette shrugged, smiling a little. ‘They are taking me to movies tonight. I am beginning to think I am dating them, which is okay. The blonde one has great legs and the angry one knows how to use tongue.’   
  
    ‘How _fantastic_ for you!’ Ian exclaimed. ‘But I believe we are gathered here to discuss _my_ problems?’   
  
    Ellie frowned. ‘Shit, are we _still_ on that?’   
  
    ‘Oh, just piss off,’ Ian grumped.   
  
    Svetlana let out a laugh and followed Ellie as she pretty much raced out of the room, clearly wanting to get away from Ian and his whining. Before Svetlana left, she crossed Mickey’s path in the doorframe.   
  
    She patted his arm and said, ‘Your sister is very good at what she does. You should be proud.’   
  
    Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed as he shot her a disgusted look. ‘Well, that’s…fucking haunting. Thank you.’   
  
    The shorter man took a few more steps in, shutting the door behind him and clearing his throat awkwardly. ‘Look…I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I mean…you—fuck…you should apologise too, in all fuckin’ honesty—’   
  
    Ian, quite unable to help himself, arched an eyebrow. ‘This apology is off to a great start.’   
  
    Also unable to help himself, Mickey smiled slightly. ‘Fuck off, man, alright? I just wanted to say I’m sorry about biting your head off like that. You can go to a fuckin’ party if you wanna go…’   
  
    Ian nodded slowly, crossing his arms. ‘I’m sorry too. I did cross a professional line…in a few ways.’   
  
    ‘And I guess I did kiss you,’ Mickey added.   
  
    The redhead shrugged. ‘I kissed you back, so…’   
  
    ‘Well, I’m sorry about that, anyway.’   
  
   _I’m not_ , Ian thought, before shrugging off the urge to speak his mind. Ian decided to quickly go ahead with the lesson before he did something he’d regret. Or not really regret. Whatever. He turned to his computer, saying, ‘Do you want to practise your wedding dance song today? Or something different?’   
  
    ‘Shuffle your songs, man; I wanna see what you’ve got.’   
  
    Ian shrugged, hitting shuffle on his iTunes. The first song was Basic Instinct by The Acid. ‘I’m not quite sure we can waltz to this.’   
  
    Mickey put his hands out where he would normally touch Ian. ‘We can try.’   
  
    The redhead stepped into his touch, immediately relaxing at first contact. He took a deep breath and made sure they stepped to the beats. It was kind of an intense song, especially since Mickey hardly needed to look at his feet anymore, so he was mainly looking him in the eyes.   
  
    The music was speeding up, some scratching noises building up, and, as if by instinct, Ian’s breathing sped up. Mickey’s soon matched his and before he knew it Mickey’s mouth was, once again on his.   
  
   _Coming up for air._   
  
    His mouth was soft and Ian was breaking.   
  
     _Coming up for air, air._   
  
    Mickey’s hand came up to the back of Ian’s head, grasping at the short strands there.   
  
  _Coming up for air._   
  
    Soon enough, the kiss had transformed into something hungry and primal. Teeth and tongues and frustration and _heat_.   
  
   _Coming up for air, air._   
  
    Which somehow, just as quickly, blurred into something gentle. Ian slowed them down a bit, not really wanting to, though. He knew as soon as Mickey pulled away it was over again. Mickey was yanking him around like no one ever had.   
  
     _Coming up for air._   
  
    And Ian was _fucking addicted to it_.   
  
     _Coming up for air, air._   
  
    Mickey pulled away. ‘Fucking _Christ_. Why do I keep _doing that_?’   
  
    Ian shuffled out of his arms, ducking his head and saying quietly, ‘We can just forget about it. If you want.’   
  
*   
  
And, _fuck_ , if the guy didn’t sound small. Mickey hated being the cause of that. He hated cheating on Josh, he hated this weird attraction to Gallagher, and he hated himself for hurting the redhead like this. Why couldn’t he just keep his _fucking_ hormones in check?   
  
    And what was he supposed to say now? “I don’t want to forget it?” Well, that would just send the wrong fucking message…Wouldn’t it?   
  
    Yeah, yeah, it would. He didn’t want to fucking marry Ian and walk off into the goddamn sunset. No, he was marrying Josh; he loved Josh. Josh was good to him. Josh was there for him when no one else was. Josh helped him accept himself and come out. He owed it to him to go through with this marriage and not fucking cheat on him, _shit_.   
  
    So how come he was kissing Ian _yet again_ , the sound of Cliff’s Edge by Hayley Kiyoko in the background? He probably should’ve said “yeah, thanks, let’s forget it”, but, no, he decided jumping Gallagher again was the right answer.   
  
   _God, I’m such a fuckin’ idiot,_ Mickey thought to himself, but quickly getting distracted by the softness of Ian’s lips against his own and how fucking good he smelt.   
  
    Before he knew it, clothes were coming off and — _who the fuck keeps lube in a fuckin’ dance studio, Gallagher, come_ on _now_ — mistakes were being made. Although maybe whether or not this was a mistake was subjective, Mickey thought as Ian gasped above him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was short, but it was pretty much just a chapter of kissing, so i hope that makes up for it!! :) (The dugout scene song was so good it deserved a better scene to go with it, imo)
> 
> My Ian and Mickey are pretty much crazed hormone-fuelled idiots, and I do not apologise for it one bit. 
> 
> Also, yes, that was a My Best Friend's Wedding shameless fic reference! (I mean, I guess it could also be the movie's reference, but I was more looking at the fic) 
> 
> AND YEAH SOME MICKEY POV. 
> 
> (I think i'm going to add a karen/mandy/svetlana tag cos that shit needs to be validated rn)


	6. Chapter 6

Ian panted as he lay on the wooden floor, finally coming down from his frenzied state. What in the fuck just happened? He allowed a quick glance at Mickey’s naked body next to his own. Yep, that definitely isn’t his imagination. He could never come up with Mickey’s bare ass on his own.  
  
    He rubbed a hand down his sweaty face, unsure of what to do or what was going to happen now. After five more minutes of silence, Ian started getting impatient and tapped his fingers against his bare stomach irritably.  
  
    ‘Do you fuckin’ mind?’ Mickey grumbled in annoyance. ‘I’m trying to think, here.’  
  
    ‘Mind telling me exactly what you’re thinking?’ Ian responded a little anxiously.  
  
    ‘I’m thinking…of how the _fuck_ …I’m going to explain this to Josh,’ Mickey answered and Ian’s shoulders slumped a little as his heart sunk.  
  
    ‘Well. Fuck.’  
  
    And that was it. There. That was the moment. Ian was done. He was done with this bullshit.  
  
**Now Playing: Youth - Daughter**  
  
    The redhead clambered up, pulling on his clothes as fast as he could. Mickey sat up, staring at him in confusion. Ian scowled back at him, finding it completely crazy that he was confused about this.  
  
    ‘’The fuck are you doing?’  
  
    ‘Oh, I’m sorry; did you think I’m just going to lie there, and listen to you wax poetic about your fucking fiancée and not say shit?’ Ian growled. ‘You should just get out, Mick. Just go.’  
  
    Mickey’s face turned red with anger and he started shoving his clothes back on too. ‘So, what? What are you going to do when I have to come back for the next lesson? We’re not actually done here, asshole.’  
  
    ‘I don’t think I want you back for the next lesson,’ Ian blurted out without meaning to. As soon as he said it, he wanted to take it back. The thought of not seeing Mickey again hurt.  
  
    They really hadn’t had much time together at all. Ian didn’t know how the fuck he was managing to develop feelings for this guy who he’d barely known for a few weeks. Somehow, though, he had, and he knew fuck all about how to deal with it.  
  
    Ian always ended up falling for the wrong guys. From Kash to his last boyfriend. All of them were wrong for him, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Mickey _wasn’t_ wrong for him. Mickey was perfect for him. Well, besides the fact that he was engaged to someone else. Yeah, that was actually the opposite of perfect, if he was completely fucking honest.  
  
    But, despite that, he really fucking liked Mickey. He liked the way he rubbed his thumb against his lip when he was thinking of how to phrase what he wanted to say. He liked how he licked his lips before every goddamn sentence. He liked how he ran a hand through his amazingly soft hair when he was frustrated. He liked his laugh. God, did he like his fucking laugh. And his smile. His smile should come with its own warning sign it made his heart beat so fast.  
  
    He wanted Mickey. And he couldn’t have him. And that fucking sucked.  
  
    So he was done. He was done with chasing Mickey when he clearly valued Josh over him. He was done with having no self-respect and trying to chase people to be loved. It hurt, sure, but not nearly as much as still seeing Mickey, falling further for him, and then watching as he danced his first dance with his fiancée. Better to stop it now.  
  
* * *  
  
Mickey clenched his jaw, not really understanding Gallagher’s problem. Sure, he was probably being kind of an asshole, but he had a lot more to worry about than Ian. He was the one who had just cheated. Properly cheated. Fuck, what the hell had he done?  
  
    He just couldn’t help himself. He felt some kind of fucked up connection to the gigantic redheaded moron. Sometimes, the night before the lesson on Monday, he would lie in bed next to Josh and pretty much count down the hours until he could see Ian again. Until he could _touch_ Ian again. And he felt really shit about it. He felt shit about the fact that he didn’t want his wedding to come, because it meant he wouldn’t see Ian anymore.  
  
    What the fuck was wrong with him?  
  
    To Mickey’s complete surprise, his voice came out so fucking small when he said, ‘You don’t mean that.’  
  
    His voice hadn’t sounded this small for a while. Ever since his dad kicked the bucket and Mandy’s been okay, he hasn’t felt so desperate.  
  
    Mickey’s heart sunk further when Ian looked him in the eye, responding firmly, ‘I do. I can’t do this. It’s—It’s too ridiculous. I’m not just some exciting mistake to make before you finally get hitched, Mickey.’  
  
    Mickey laughed a little at the absurdity of even the idea of that. When Ian’s face turned stony, he realised that was probably the wrong reaction. He reached out a hand, going to grab Ian’s arm. ‘Man, I didn’t—’  
  
    Ian shoved him away, shouting, ‘Just get the fuck out!’  
  
    The brunet stumbled back mainly out of shock, not really from Ian’s push. He decided he should probably listen to the taller man, who looked on the verge of tears. He collected his shoes and slowly walked out of the studio room. Before he left, he took one quick glance back at Ian, who was staring at his feet.  
  
**Now Playing: Fall - He is We**  
  
* * *  
  
Mickey crawled into bed next to Josh. He’d had a big night out last night with his friends, so he’d been sleeping all day. He pressed his back to Josh’s front and Josh hummed, wrapping an arm around his waist.  
  
    ‘How was the dance lesson?’ Josh murmured, placing a soft kiss on his neck.  
  
    Mickey shifted uncomfortably, wondering if Josh could smell Ian on him. ‘Alright.’  
  
    He couldn’t bring himself to suggest that maybe they stop seeing Ian. He still had a smidgen of hope that Ian would change his mind. Wrapped up in Josh’s arms, it made him sick that he would leave them in a second if Ian texted him.  
  
    He was beginning to wonder, secretly, if maybe he shouldn’t marry Josh. Of course, this small idea was buried so deep that Mickey wasn’t even quite sure if he had it himself. All he knew was that he owed Josh. He owed it to him to marry him and give him a good life. And Milkoviches pay their debts.  
  
* * *  
  
The next day, Ian went around to Mandy’s early in the morning before work. He pounded on the door desperately, needing to talk to _someone_ who knew Mickey like no one else. His eyes widened when the door opened to reveal Svetlana, wrapped up in a silk dressing gown. She had a cigarette in one hand and a mimosa in the other. She squinted one eye at him before taking a drag of the cigarette and blowing smoke in his face.  
  
    ‘What do you want, Orange Boy?’ She sounded almost resigned.  
  
    Despite his bad mood, Ian couldn’t help but smirk. ‘I see your making the most of your time here.’  
  
    ‘They live it up here,’ she admitted, shrugging shamelessly. ‘You should see breakfast. The blonde one licked maple syrup off my—’  
  
    ‘No, no!’ Ian almost shouted. ‘I’m pretty happy not knowing how that story ends.’  
  
    Svetlana just snickered, letting him in and shutting the door behind him. ‘You’re jealous.’  
  
    Ian was shocked when he followed her around the corner to the kitchen. Karen and Mandy were sitting at the breakfast table, but Ellie was chilling on the floor with a bowl of Fruit Loops. ‘Ellie?! Are you part of this?’  
  
    ‘ _Whoa_ ,’ Ellie said, ‘I got here _after_ the syrup licking. I have no part in this orgy. Though, I can’t say I’d be opposed. These are some good looking ladies.’  
  
    Karen smirked up at Ian, an arm around Mandy’s shoulders. ‘What’s up, Carl’s brother?’  
  
    ‘Well, I can’t say I’ve gotten that one before,’ Ian muttered to himself before looking at Mandy. ‘I need help understanding your dickhead brother.’  
  
    Mandy gestured tiredly for him to sit down. Ian quickly filled them in on what happened, minus a few intimate details. When he finished, Ellie was gaping excitedly, Karen was laughing, Mandy was smirking, and Svetlana was — well, Svetlana was texting. She didn’t really appear to care all that much about Ian’s love problems.  
  
    ‘So, let me get this straight,’ Mandy began, eyebrows furrowing. ‘You stopped all lessons with my brother, and yet you’d still like to understand him? Why not just forget about it and only awkwardly wave at him when you see him at my parties? Yes, you are now required to attend them since we’re officially dating Lana.’  
  
    ‘Oh, congrats,’ Ian said distractedly, patting Svetlana on the shoulder. She grumbled grumpily in response to the touch. ‘And, yes, I still want to understand why _the fuck_ he wants to marry Josh. I mean, I get him not leaving him for me, since we hardly know each other, but if he’s cheating on him, isn’t that kind of a sign that he _shouldn’t marry him_?’  
  
    ‘What I have trouble understanding is how you’re so hung up on Mickey even though you clearly don’t know him at all!’ Karen exclaimed, seemingly annoyed. ‘If you knew Mickey, you’d know that he’s a stubborn ass with a dozen issues.’  
  
    ‘Well, get me updated, then!’ Ian snapped back. He turned to Mandy, who seemed to be pondering what to do. ‘Please, Mandy. If I can _maybe_ understand it, I might be able to move on.’  
  
    Mandy huffed before leaning forward, clasping her hands together and arching an eyebrow. ‘Alright, Ian Gallagher, get ready for the fucked up tale of Mickey Milkovich.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, am I the only one constantly forgetting that they barely know each other in this fic?? 
> 
> Prize to the person who can guess the subtle reference to another fic that similarly shows how the songs change (I love it and they recently updated their 17th chapter) 
> 
> PS. I joined Tumblr! Come talk to me (hopelessandweak) I don't know how to add links here oops


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is Mickey's POV of why he won't leave Josh. So shit gets a little dark. 
> 
> Here's a TW for emotional abuse and manipulation, victim-blaming, and mentions of physical abuse.

_**Seven Years Earlier** _  
  
Mickey limped through the apartment building, finally arriving at the right place. The whole trek here had been a nightmare, from the people staring at him to the pain shooting throughout his entire body. He was just glad he managed to make it up to the apartment door before any people in the building called the cops. Northside people didn’t take kindly to bloody, broken, thug strangers wandering their halls.  
  
    He knocked on the door, leaning against the frame to provide some relief to his aching body. He stared up at the door, praying that it would open soon. He didn’t think it would be long until he passed out.  He pulled the business card out of his pocket, double-checking he had the right place.  
  
    Finally, the door swung open to reveal the blonde man he had spoken to at the meeting Mandy had dragged him to. When the man, shocked at how roughened up he looked, guided him into the apartment and fixed him up, Mickey had never been so happy that his nosy fucking sister had forced him to go to that queer kids meeting all the way in the Northside.  
  
    That was where he met Josh. Josh was two years older than him, twenty-one, and had flirted with him a little. Mickey, of course, responded the way his instincts told him to and told him to fuck off. Josh, however, wasn’t bothered by this and kept on. With Mandy’s encouragement — although she hadn’t even met the fucking guy, she was too busy flirting with _everyone_ — he ended up giving Josh his number. He had snorted when Josh had given him a _fucking business card_ , but kept it anyway.  
  
    He and Josh met up and fucked a couple of times after that. They never met at Josh’s place, even though he lived alone, because Mickey felt like that was too intimate. Josh usually hired out a hotel room for them, which secretly made Mickey feel a little nice. Mainly because someone actually thought he was worth spending money on to make him feel more comfortable.  
  
    They weren’t exclusive. Josh knew Mickey fucked other people and Mickey knew Josh did. So therefore when Mickey was finally caught, it wasn’t with Josh. He wasn’t caught by his father; it was some drunk from the neighbourhood. Mickey was going to kill him, but he couldn’t find him in time. He came home, hoping the drunk hadn’t run his mouth, but he had. At the Alibi. In front of his father. So, when he got home, his father was waiting there. The only thing Mickey could even be happy about in that moment was that he had told Mandy not to come home for a while, just in case.  
  
    Terry went crazy, beating the shit out of him. He tried making a call, but his stolen phone was fucked, so he threatened he’d be back before knocking Mickey unconscious. Or so he thought. Mickey had just pretended to pass out, but as soon as his father left, he had dragged himself out the door. He had managed to make it to Josh’s apartment, and now Josh was cleaning him up.  
  
    ‘Shit, he did some damage,’ Josh winced before sighing. ‘Why did you think it was a good idea to fuck someone out in the open like that?’  
  
    Mickey tried shrugging, but hissed in pain. ‘I don’t know. Got cocky. I’m a fuckin’ idiot, I know.’  
  
    Josh nodded before wiping off the last of the blood. He leant back, scanning the naked boy from head to toe. ‘I would say “good as new”, but…’  
  
    Mickey shifted his aching jaw around, trying to find some relief. ‘I’ve had worse.’  
  
    ‘Yeah, well…’ The blonde man paused. ‘You can stay here for a while, if you want.’  
  
    Mickey’s eyes widened. He hesitated for a moment, before asking what he thought was probably too much. ‘Can—Can Mandy come stay too? Just for a little bit, and then we’ll get outta your hair. I can’t leave her there with him.’  
  
    Josh sighed and for a moment Mickey felt worried. Maybe he’d asked too much? He should’ve just shut the fuck up and been grateful for the offer.  
  
    ‘Fine.’ Josh shrugged. ‘Do you want to go and pick her up in, like, half an hour?’  
  
    Mickey felt chills go through him at the thought of going back to the Southside, going back to Terry, but nodded. He texted Mandy to let her know and, as Josh went about making up a bed on the couch for Mandy, he thought about what they were going to do after they had outstayed their welcome at Josh’s place. He had no fucking clue.  
  
  
    Josh pulled up outside the Kash N’ Grab, where Mandy and Mickey had decided to meet. Mandy had a good relationship with Linda, the owner of the store. Linda had once caught Mandy trying to steal some food, a black eye on her face and no weight on her bones. It had been one of the times when their father had decided upon starvation as a punishment. Mickey was sick with the flu and Mandy was stealing a few cans of soup for him. Linda had just let her, but told her not to tell her husband because she refused to look soft in front of that sack of shit. So Mandy felt safe with her.  
  
    Mickey stumbled into the store, up to the front counter. He was too shook up and desperate to bother sneering at Kash, Linda’s husband. Before he had the chance to open his mouth, Kash had taken a nervous step back and called out, ‘Ian? Can you come and help this customer, please?’  
  
    ‘I’m busy, Kash!’ a slightly annoyed voice came from the back room.  
  
    ‘Look, I’m just here for my fuckin’ sister,’ Mickey snapped. ‘Can you go get her, please? And hurry the fuck up.’  
  
    Kash huffed a little, the bastard, before heading upstairs and calling Linda. Mickey stood at the counter, tapping his fingers impatiently. He could hear the other guy in the back, shuffling around and probably stacking shit by the sounds of it. A few seconds later, he heard something drop and a shout come from the back room. He was about to go see if the guy was okay, but when Mandy came down, he completely forgot about that.  
  
    Thanking Linda, he grabbed Mandy’s wrist and dragged her out to the car, throwing a, ‘You should probably check and make sure the guy in the back hasn’t bashed his own fuckin’ head in’ behind him.  
  
    Josh and he lay in bed that night, Mickey idly thinking to himself this was the first time he had slept with a guy without _sleeping_ with a guy, and talked about what to do next. Josh was really into the idea of hiring someone to kill Terry, but Mickey couldn’t do that. His dad was a fuckin’ asshole and should burn in hell, but he was still his father. They ended up deciding that Mickey and Mandy would stay there for a while longer, and Mickey would get a job and find his own place.  
  
    However, after a while turned into a year and fuck-buddies turned into an actual relationship, Mickey stayed and Mandy moved out. She had gotten a job at this cup-selling company. Josh’s friend, Robbie’s, family pretty much owned the place. It turned out that she had been hooking up with Karen Jackson all this time, so she decided to move in with her too. Karen got a job as a waitress while she did community college.  
  
    After a few years, around the time Mickey was twenty-two, the relationship between Josh and him had faded. On his end, anyway. It wasn’t really anything Josh had done; Mickey was just not in love with him anymore. He told Mandy that he was going to dump him and asked to stay at her place for a while until he could afford his own place.  
  
    They were sitting on the couch, when Mickey said that they needed to talk. Josh seemed to know what was going on, and didn’t seem too thrilled as he sat down next to him. Mickey made it about halfway through the break-up speech when Josh stood up.  
  
    ‘Wait a minute. Are you breaking up with me?’ Josh snapped.  
  
    Mickey shifted awkwardly on the couch. ‘Uh…yeah.’  
  
    ‘What, is there someone else?’ Josh growled and, before Mickey could even answer, he started ranting, ‘After all I fucking do for you, _you’re_ going to dump _me_? I can’t fucking believe this. How long have you been thinking of doing this, Mickey?’  
  
    ‘A while now,’ Mickey said softly, knowing that whatever he got right now was probably what he deserved.  
  
    ‘What is it? What’s wrong with me that you’re dumping me, huh? Was it my generosity when letting you _and your sister_ stay at my place rent-free for a year when we weren’t even dating yet? Was it me making you feel safe when I got you away from your father? Was it me taking care of you when I cleaned you up when he left you broken and fucking bleeding all over my floor?’ Josh’s eyes went hard. ‘Fuck you, Mickey. You won’t be able to do better than me. You won’t _ever_ find the love that I’ve been able to give you from anyone. You know that, right?’  
  
    ‘I—’ Mickey cut himself off, staring at the ground. Shit, he was right. Josh was the best guy he was ever going to have. Why would he leave him? ‘Maybe…Maybe I’m wrong. I’m sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t think about it that way.’  
  
    ‘We could just work on things,’ Josh said softly, sitting down again. He pressed against Mickey, leaning into him. ‘Instead of jumping right to breaking up, how about we work on things? I can be better for you, Mickey. I mean…you’d have to change some things too. It hasn’t been all me, has it?’  
  
    ‘I guess not.’  
  
    Josh nodded, smiling. ‘Right. So, how about, we get over this and just work on things tomorrow?’  
  
    And that’s what happened. Josh and Mickey worked on things. Josh got to be a better boyfriend than ever, taking Mickey’s breath away time and time again. He helped Mickey get into community college and paid for it, he paid for Mickey’s phone and made sure Mickey didn’t need to contribute anything to the apartment.  
  
    ‘I want you to focus on college, baby,’ he’d say when Mickey argued.  
  
    Mickey knew that Josh was all anyone could ask for. And, knowing that, he slowly fell in love with him again. It took a while, and a lot of effort, but then he got there again. And then, on Mickey’s twenty-sixth birthday, Josh proposed. And Mickey said yes, because Mickey knew that Josh had done so much for him. Josh had taken care of him. So now Mickey had to take care of him. Mickey owed Josh the life and marriage he deserved.  
  
    The night Josh proposed, after he had rolled off Mickey, Mickey stared at the ceiling and convinced himself that this was what he wanted. He called Mandy and told her. Once he hung up, he cried, and was amazed that he cried because he was happy. He’d never really done that before. He was happy. He was finally happy.  
  
    He was happy.  
  
    He was happy.  
  
    He was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me sad so please play this game of fuck, marry, kill in your comment (if you leave one) to make me happy: Ellie, Mandy, Ian! GO 
> 
> Also, I've decided I'm going to try and leave fic references in every one after this, because I love the fics on here and want to pay them tribute (there's no references in this one tho cos it was too sad). 
> 
> I'm also upset that I didn't get to mention any songs in this chapter! :( I'll do some next hopefully! 
> 
> Anyway my tumblr is hopelessandweak now (I've changed it to match this) so come say hi if you want!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for discussions of emotional abuse

Ian frowned, completely blown away by that story. He looked around at everyone else’s expressions. Mandy looked upset, Karen looked disgusted, Ellie looked confused. Svetlana looked furious enough that she even looked up from her phone. He glanced between all of them, absolutely at a loss at why they all looked so bothered. Did they want him to get with Mickey that badly they were upset at the fact that Josh was such a good boyfriend?   
  
    ‘So…Josh is a good boyfriend…and I’m ruining a happy relationship.’ Ian sighed. ‘Perfect. I did it again.’   
  
    ‘What?!’ Karen shouted. ‘Did you even listen to the story?’   
  
    Ian raised his eyebrows in surprise at her reaction. ‘I’m sorry?’   
  
    ‘You are stupid, fucking idiot,’ Svetlana huffed.   
  
    ‘What exactly am I missing here?’ Ian asked.   
  
    Ellie sighed, getting up and approaching the table. She sat down next to Karen and said, ‘You guys don’t know what Ian’s relationships have been like. Of course he’d have no idea if someone was in an abusive relationship. He’s never been taught about that.’   
  
    ‘Uh, I know what an abusive relationship is, and that doesn’t sound like it,’ Ian snapped. ‘Does Josh hit Mickey?’   
  
    ‘Well, no, but—’ Mandy began.   
  
    ‘If he doesn’t hit him, it’s not abusive.’   
  
    Before he knew it, Svetlana was throwing apples at him. He dodged them, standing up from the table and swearing.   
  
    ‘Lana, what the fuck?’   
  
    ‘You’re being a dick!’ she responded.   
  
    ‘I don’t get it. I’m sorry!’   
  
    ‘For fuck’s sake, Ian,’ Karen cut in. ‘Sit down and let me explain.’   
  
    Ian hesitantly sat down, eyeing Svetlana who was holding an apple threateningly. He shifted his chair slightly away from her and she rolled her eyes, dropping the apple back into the fruit bowl.   
  
    Karen eyed him as if he was going to take off before carefully saying, ‘Ian, Mickey’s in an emotionally abusive relationship.’   
  
    ‘What, but he—’   
  
    ‘Let me finish!’ Karen screeched and Ian jumped, going silent. ‘When I was younger, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a guy. So I recognise the signs, especially with some of the things Mickey’s told us. The signs can be more sneaky and elusive than a physically abusive relationship. Ian, Josh constantly puts Mickey down, he treats him like a child, he’s purposefully controlling his finances, and do you know how often we actually see Mickey with Josh? At parties, maybe. Do you know how often we see Mickey alone?’   
  
    ‘I see him maybe once every two months, Ian,’ Mandy said, clearly upset by this. ‘The last time I saw him was at that party, and the time before that was when they announced their engagement. Both were with Josh. I talk to him on the phone a lot, and that’s why we know this stuff, but he only calls us when Josh is out.’   
  
    ‘Mickey doesn’t even have any other friends! He’s alone.’ Karen now looked apoplectic. ‘And Josh _constantly_ uses the fact that he helped Mandy and Mickey out as emotional blackmail.’   
  
    ‘How come Mickey hasn’t said anything about it?’ Ian asked, now pretty much believing them and starting to get angry about it.   
  
    ‘He doesn’t even realise that this is unacceptable behaviour, probably,’ Ellie chimed in. ‘Has Mickey ever minimised the abuse and pretended like it’s nothing?’   
  
    ‘All the time,’ Mandy said, ‘Once he even flat-out claimed that what he told us the previous night never happened. He just thinks that because it isn’t like what happened with Dad that it’s okay.’   
  
    ‘Like I did,’ Ian muttered, now feeling a bit ashamed that he didn’t notice it.   
  
    ‘No, Orange Boy, don’t feel bad,’ Svetlana said, surprisingly soft. ‘Not everyone knows about emotionally abusive relationships.’   
  
    ‘Yeah, and with your abusive parents and relationships, who could blame you for not noticing or not being able to tell the difference.’ Ellie added. ‘You’re not doing it yourself, that’s all that matters.’   
  
    Ian nodded slowly. ‘Yeah, I guess…But, still, how are we going to get Mickey out of there?’   
  
    ‘You want back in?’ Mandy teased. ‘You just wanted an explanation before.’   
  
    ‘That’s before I knew what an asshole Josh _really_ is to him. He shouldn’t have to put up with this shit. Even if he doesn’t want to be with me, he shouldn’t be with him anymore.’   
  
    ‘Wait, though,’ Ellie cut in to the plan that sounded like it was going to be pieced together any minute now. ‘If we try and manipulate and control him into leaving Josh, aren’t we as bad as Josh? You know, taking away his autonomy and shit?’   
  
    Ian nodded, biting his lip. ‘True. This has to be Mickey’s decision.’   
  
    ‘But he’s financially dependent on Josh, how is he going to leave him?’ Karen wondered.   
  
    ‘I could convince him to get a job?’ Mandy suggested. ‘I mean, he’s always complaining about how he wants to buy things for himself, but Josh says he can’t because it’s his money.’   
  
    ‘I work at a coffee shop as well as the studio,’ Ellie said, ‘I could get him a job there?’   
  
    ‘Yeah, you do the job thing and I’ll get him to see a therapist,’ Mandy said, ‘I mean, he should see one regardless, so it won’t seem too suspicious to Josh if he goes to one.’   
  
    ‘Remember that we have to be careful about this, guys,’ Karen reminded them. ‘We don’t want Josh taking it out on Mickey.’   
  
    ‘Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this at all,’ Ian said anxiously. ‘God knows how Josh could react to all of this. We could be causing more problems…’   
  
    ‘Ian, we have to do _something_ ,’ Mandy said, ‘I can’t see my brother being in this toxic relationship anymore.’   
  
    ‘Then maybe I should stay out of it…I will definitely make things worse…’   
  
    ‘But you have to be the one to convince Mickey that he’s being abused!’ Karen argued.   
  
    ‘What? No way!’ Ian snapped. ‘I’m not manipulating Mickey like that. I’m not using our attraction or whatever to make him break up with his boyfriend.’   
  
    ‘Ian, it’s not for selfish reasons. You’re not doing it because you want him for yourself. You’re doing it so he’s safe. And I’m not saying continue on with the romantic relationship, just be his friend. Be there for him. He needs some friends,’ Karen said.   
  
    ‘I’ll be his friend, but I can’t convince him like that. It’ll seem like I’m trying to turn it around to get him with me. And if Josh found out, fuck knows what would happen.’   
  
    ‘I will do it,’ Svetlana piped up. ‘I’m dating you anyway, so he should spend more time with me, yes? I tell him about my bitch of a girlfriend a few years ago?’ She gave Karen and Mandy a questioning look.   
  
    ‘Great thinking, babe,’ Mandy said, smiling softly.   
  
    ‘I’m still really conflicted about this,’ Ian said quietly. ‘Is planning behind Mickey’s back like this the right thing to do? Aren’t we just as bad as Josh then?’   
  
    ‘We can’t just let this go on. Mickey refuses to see it, and we’re not manipulating him, we’re not controlling him. We’re helping him to see it. Despite what we do, it’s all up to Mickey to see it on his own.’   
  
    Ian sighed, having a bad feeling about all this. ‘Okay. Let’s do it; let’s help him.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a really hard chapter to write, which was why it took so long! Sorry about that. I wanted to explore the side of emotional abuse of the friends witnessing it, rather than the victim. I personally think Ian would not know what emotional abuse was and be pretty flippant about it because of how he was brought up. However, if you think I'm wrong feel free to tell me. Also disclaimer that their ideas of how to deal with the emotionally abusive relationship are not given by a therapist or anyone with a lot of knowledge of how to handle domestic abuse. These are just a group of people trying the best they can to help someone they care about. 
> 
> Here are some links to domestic abuse help websites if anyone needs them?   
> https://www.dosomething.org/us/about/hotline-list  
> https://www.domesticshelters.org/national-global  
> http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/types-of-abuse/emotional-abuse/  
> http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/emotional-abuse-help-support-and-recovery/
> 
> These are all I could find in the time I had, so if anyone has a really helpful one, feel free to share it!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A closer look into Josh and Mickey's relationship, and Mickey has coffee with Svetlana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for emotional abuse/manipulation/fights/yelling/making light of child abuse

**9.**   
  
It had been a week since Mickey had last seen Ian, and it was three months until the wedding. Josh was heading out for his lesson with Ian, since Ian had never contacted them to confirm that he didn’t want them back. Mickey was a bundle of nerves that Josh would be a dick to Ian and Ian would blurt out that they had sex. He was even more nervous that Josh would be an asshole to Ian and Ian would _definitely_ quit as their dance instructor.   
  
    ‘Just…be nice to him,’ Mickey said as Josh walked toward the door.   
  
    Josh scoffed, pulling on his coat. ‘If he is nice to me, I’ll be nice to him, but I don’t know if you’ve noticed, he’s not very nice. And his crush on you is pathetic. Someone needs to put him in his place.’   
  
    ‘If he hits on me, _I’ll_ do it,’ Mickey retorted.   
  
    Josh let out a sigh, wrapping a hand around the back of Mickey’s neck and looking him in the eye. ‘Babe, you won’t, because you’re too nice. You lead him on anyway with your panting after him all the time, _which_ I don’t appreciate, by the way. If you didn’t already realise, you’re _my_ fiancée.’   
  
    Mickey wasn’t sure if anyone had described him as “too nice” before, but that wasn’t his focus right now. ‘Of course I realise that, and what do you fuckin’ mean, panting over him?’   
  
    ‘Mickey, he’s attractive. Of course you’re going to be a little…Look, you’re not exactly the most prude-ish person in the world, and you’re also easy to manipulate. If he ever _did_ hit on you, you could probably be easily persuaded. So I have to let him know who you belong to.’ Josh ruffled his hair before opening the door. ‘Oh, while I’m gone, pick up some stuff for dinner. I’ll transfer you some money.’   
  
    Before Mickey could say anything, Josh shut the door. Sighing, Mickey decided he might as well go and get the stuff.   
  
*   
  
Mickey was wandering the aisles of the supermarket, trying to find something for dinner. Josh was picky about his food, so he would probably not like anything Mickey brought home. Mickey almost groaned, wishing Josh had given him a list because if he brought home the wrong thing, it would be World War III.   
  
    Josh would probably be all, “I can’t believe you don’t know me by now, Mickey. I hate spaghetti! God, you can be so self-involved sometimes.”   
  
    As he was staring at the butter chicken sauce, trying to remember if Josh liked it, he was approached from the side by Karen and Ian’s dancer friend who said those disturbing things about Mandy. ‘Hey, Mickey!’   
  
    ‘Yo,’ Mickey said absentmindedly, not really in the mood for talking to anyone.   
  
    Karen punched him in the shoulder lightly. ‘Could at least look at us when you greet us, dickbag. Are you getting dinner?’   
  
    Mickey let out a sigh, turning toward them, resigned to the fact that he was now in a conversation. ‘Yeah. Josh’s at his fuckin’ dance lesson and told me to grab something. What are you doin’?’   
  
    Karen nodded. ‘Yeah, Lana and I are just grabbing dinner as well. Mandy’s been running other errands all day, so we thought it’d be nice to cook dinner for her.’   
  
    Mickey smiled knowingly. ‘Lemme guess, mac and cheese?’   
  
    Karen grinned. ‘Yeah, well, you know Mandy: simpler is better. So…I was thinking…’   
  
    There it was. She couldn’t just be having a casual conversation with him. No, it was always to trap him into a deeper conversation or something she wanted him to do. Mickey almost huffed in annoyance, but kept it in and just eyed her in suspicion.   
  
    ‘You’re not going to bug me about going to a fuckin’ therapist like Mandy, right?’   
  
    For the past week, Mandy had been badgering him about going to a psychologist because “it’s good for you, Mick, especially after all the shit we’ve been through” and “my doctor has done wonders for me”.   
  
    Karen laughed. ‘Nah, I was going to say that I’m sure you’ve heard that Lana is dating Mandy and me now.’   
  
    ‘Yeah…I’ve heard.’   
  
    Mickey thought it was the weirdest fuckin’ thing in the world, but to each their own he supposed. If Mandy was happy, he was happy. Even if she had to be happy with the chattiest damn people he’d ever met.   
  
    ‘Yeah. _So_ , I thought maybe you could come over for dinner and get to know Lana? Or maybe just go out for coffee or something?’   
  
    Svetlana smirked. ‘Yes, I know good coffee place. We should go now.’   
  
    ‘Now?’ Mickey frowned. ‘Uh, I’m actually getting dinner right now, but maybe another time?’   
  
    ‘No, I’m busy other times. Now is when I am free.’ Svetlana frowned, clearly what she wanted wasn’t going according to plan.   
  
    ‘And I’m busy now, so…’ Mickey was having a hard time not snapping at this chick. So fuckin’ demanding.   
  
    ‘Josh will be gone for an hour, won’t he? Surely a little coffee break won’t hurt…’ Karen pressed.   
  
    Mickey let out a heavy exhale, eyeing the aisle in front of him and thinking that he _really_ didn’t want to keep looking for dinner anyway. Maybe he could convince Josh to order them takeout instead? That way he could choose his own dinner. He glanced back at Karen and Svetlana to see them anticipating his answer. They must be really into this fuckin’ idea of him spending time with the new girlfriend, because they were acting like there was a lot at stake for this or something. Maybe it was important to Mandy that he understood her relationship or something.   
  
    Mickey rolled his eyes. ‘Fine. We can fuckin’ get coffee.’   
  
*   
  
One thing Mickey definitely didn’t expect was that Karen would leave, and it would just be him and Svetlana going to get coffee. He thought Karen would at least stick around to make it more bearable, but no. She went off, jabbering about something to do with dinner, and Svetlana led the way to the coffee place. As they walked, neither of them spoke and he made sure to have a smoke before they went into the coffee place since this was going to be torture.   
  
    She didn’t speak until they were in the line and asked, ‘What do you want? I will pay.’   
  
    ‘Uh, just a black coffee would be good…thanks.’ He had to constantly remind himself to be polite to this chick, not wanting to upset Mandy in any way since she could be a real bitch when she was mad.   
  
    Once they reached the front of the line, the chick serving was eerily familiar. She had colourful dreads and a huge grin. When she spoke, with a thick Jamaican accent, Mickey realised where he knew her, ‘Lana! Hey, girl, what are you up to?’   
  
    ‘Getting to know short, grumpy brother-in-law,’ she said casually, ordering their drinks after.   
  
    ‘Cool! Maybe once I’m done with my shift, I’ll join you guys?’   
  
    ‘Actually, I really don’t have ti—’   
  
    ‘That sounds good,’ Svetlana cut off Mickey’s refusal before giving him a look. ‘Don’t be rude.’   
  
    Mickey huffed, throwing his hands up as they made their way to the pick-up zone. ‘I really fuckin’ think _you’re_ the one being rude right now.’   
  
    ‘Possibly,’ Svetlana admitted before shrugging. ‘But so are you.’   
  
    Mickey gave her a sarcastic smile before collecting their coffees, which were done surprisingly quickly, and making his way over to a table. He flopped down into one of the armchairs and took a sip of his coffee, leaning back.   
  
    ‘So…what’s the relationship between you three called again? I told Josh about it and he explained but I can’t remember…’ Mickey started awkwardly.   
  
    ‘Polyamorous,’ Svetlana said, waving her hand dismissively. ‘Real question is who is Josh?’   
  
    ‘…Uh…he’s my fiancée? You know, Ian’s teaching us our wedding dance.’   
  
    ‘Oh. Yes.’ Svetlana tapped her fingers against her coffee cup, seemingly unknowing of what to say next. After a moment, she said, ‘Excuse me a moment.’   
  
    She then stood and rushed towards the bathrooms. Mickey huffed and rubbed at his face before taking a sip of his coffee. While she was gone, he decided to check his phone and see if Josh had texted.   
  
   **J:** _Where are you?_

     **J:** _You’re supposed to be home._   
  
    Mickey sighed and responded. Eyeing his phone nervously, he was already anticipating Josh’s annoyance and _really_ didn’t want to go home to a pissed off Josh.   
  
   **M:** _Mandy and Karen’s girlfriend asked me out for coffee_.  
  
   **J:** _You couldn’t get out of it? What am I supposed to do for dinner now?_   
  
     **M:** _It’s important to Mandy. And idk, order take out and I’ll be home soon?_   
  
   **J:** _We’re supposed to be eating healthy so we look good for the wedding. Don’t you want to support me?_   
  
   **M:** _Of course I support you, I just don’t think we have to go on some fuckin’ diet._   
  
   **J:** _I didn’t want to say anything, but I DON’T need to be on a diet. If YOU keep going the way you’re going, you won’t fit into your tux, babe._   
  
    Mickey gritted his teeth and saw Svetlana coming back from the bathroom. Taking a deep, calming, breath, he responded.   
  
     **M:** _I’m going to get the tux to fit me. I’ll pick up something on the way home. Whatever you want, just let me know. Rn, though, I’m going to get to know Mandy’s fuckin’ girlfriend if you don’t mind._   
  
   **J:** _If I had known you were going to be such a selfish prick about all this, I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me. I’ll get my own dinner._   
  
    Mickey turned off his phone and tossed it down on the coffee table, running his hands through his hair as Svetlana took a seat across from him.   
  
    Taking a sip of her coffee, she eyed the phone before asking, ‘Troubles with fiancée?’   
  
    Mickey wasn’t normally one to whine on to someone about his problems or arguments with Josh. Normally, he would just tell them to mind their fuckin’ business, but right now he was so overcome with annoyance, he had to bitch a little. So he explained how Josh was being an asshole about absolutely nothing and always made a big deal out of nothing. By the end, he was practically panting.   
  
    ‘I’m just so fuckin’ sick of this attitude he always has. I mean, I get it. I’ve been an asshole a lot of the time, too, but that doesn’t mean that it should be a big deal for me to be late home.’ Mickey wanted to slam his head against the coffee table.   
  
    ‘Yes, I had girlfriend like that a few years ago,’ Svetlana commented casually. ‘Never liked me to go out, especially if I was meeting people. Used to try and control me and everything in my life.’   
  
    Mickey frowned, letting out a sigh before questioning, ‘What did you do?’   
  
    ‘I dumped her abusive ass.’   
  
    Mickey sat up straighter at that word. ‘No. Josh isn’t _abusive_. He doesn’t hit or nothin’. He’s a pain in the ass sometimes, sure, but he’s good to me. Fucker pretty much saved Mandy and me.’   
  
    Svetlana gave him an unreadable look before shrugging. ‘If you say so.’   
  
    ‘Yeah, well, I _do_ ,’ Mickey snapped. ‘I don’t want to fuckin’…break up with him. I just want things to be easier.’   
  
    ‘You say Josh pays for everything, yes? You have no freedom. Why not give yourself some?’ Svetlana suggested. ‘How can you be happy and fulfilled when you resent him having control of money? A person needs to pay for stuff themselves to feel good. Like that bullshit when people don’t cheat in game because then it’s not “really winning”.’   
  
    ‘So you think it’s bullshit?’ Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed, really confused.   
  
    ‘Oh, no. I think the money part is right. Competition, however, a win is a win.’   
  
    Mickey laughed. ‘So what do you suggest I do then?’   
  
    Just then, Ian and Svetlana’s friend, Ellie, bounced over, having had finished her shift. ‘Hey, guys!’ She plopped down in the chair beside them and took a sip of her coffee. ‘You gotta love the first sip of coffee after a long shift. All that gets me through is this sip…and thinking of all that moolah coming my way.’   
  
    Svetlana arched a perfectly-shaped eyebrow at Mickey. ‘I think you also need moolah.’   
  
    Ellie frowned, turning to Mickey. ‘Are you having money problems?’   
  
    Mickey shifted awkwardly with a scowl. ‘Not really.’   
  
    ‘Grumpy man needs job,’ Svetlana informed Ellie and Mickey rolled his eyes. ‘Boyfriend pays for everything.’   
  
    ‘Oh, I get it. Then you’re not free,’ Ellie sighed. ‘My parents, bless their hearts, tried to pay for everything for me. They barely had enough money to keep the house, let alone pay for me as well. So I left. Turned out being the best thing ever. I’m still poor as fuck, but at least I make my own dough.’   
  
    ‘It’s not that big of a fuckin’ deal,’ Mickey snapped.   
  
    Ellie, however, continued over him, ‘I’m sure I could help you out, though, friend. I can get you a job here. Not sure you’ll be able to work the front with that attitude. Wait, gimme a smile.’   
  
    Mickey just scowled at her, saying nothing.   
  
    She eyed him for a moment before shaking her head. ‘No, definitely not the front, but maybe you could clean stuff or make the coffees? I’ll ask for you.’   
  
    ‘I don’t need you to—’   
  
    Before he could say anymore, Ellie was up and out of her seat. She went into the back and, a few moments later, emerged with a pile of forms. ‘Fill those out, and you’re hired.’   
  
    Mickey stared at the pile of forms in shock. How the fuck did she do that?   
  
*   
  
Mickey bit his lip, staring at the front door of his and Josh’s place. He _really_ didn’t want to go in there and face Josh since he would be in such a bad mood. Maybe it was just easier to go over to Mandy’s for a while? Couples did that, right, stayed with relatives to figure stuff out? Sighing and rubbing at his eyes tiredly, he realised that he would have to face Josh at some point and it may as well be now.   
  
    He tried to be as unimposing as he possibly could, hoping that maybe he’d make it to the bedroom and to sleep before Josh even realised he was there. Unfortunately, that plan was shot to hell as he opened the door to see Josh standing in front of him, arms crossed.   
  
    ‘I can’t believe how late you are. It’s one thing to totally ignore me when I ask you to get dinner after I’ve had a long day of working and having to deal with that stupid fucking dance instructor. It’s another to be an utter dick to me and then come home late.’   
  
    Mickey’s jaw clenched, annoyed because he knew none of this was his fault. ‘Well, you’ll have to get used to it. I got a job and I’ll probably be out late doing that.’   
  
    That was a lie. He didn’t even know how late the coffee shop stayed open until. He left after he’d filled out the forms and just walked around a little, procrastinating going back to the apartment for this very reason.   
  
    Josh huffed. ‘Why did you get a job? I told you I’d take care of everything! Am I not doing a good enough job for you? I don’t know what else you want from me, Mickey! I’ve already given you a nice, _safe_ place to live, practically picked you up out of the gutter, and I asked you to marry me. What more do you want to take from me?’   
  
    ‘That’s just it! You think of it as me fuckin’… _taking_ from you. If you didn’t want me to give it to you, you didn’t have to! I didn’t ask you for any of this.’   
  
    Out of nowhere, Josh’s voice turned from a hiss to a shout. ‘Oh, really? What does this sound like to you “Oh, Josh, please take me and my fucking sister in because Daddy slaps us around a bit and we can’t just handle it”? I mean, I understand Mandy because she’s a girl, but you couldn’t just _deal_ with it, could you? No, you had to push and push me because _you_ didn’t want to be dirt poor anymore. You wanted what I had, so I gave it to you, and now you’re asking for more?!’   
  
    All Mickey could see was red, rage pumping through his veins and he was so close to just punching him in his smug face. ‘Josh, this isn’t a big deal! I even asked fuckin’ Svetlana, and she thought you were being unreasonable.’   
  
    ‘Oh, so you’re just discussing our fights with other people now, like it’s any of their fucking business? Let me tell you something, Mickey, everyone thinks I’m the unreasonable one because they don’t know how you _really_ are. They don’t know how you treat me when no one else is around! You’re always grumpy and snapping at me. You’re always putting me last. And now you’ve gotten a job to try and get away from me. But maybe you should think about where you’d be if it wasn’t for me and rethink how _unreasonable_ I’m being. All I asked you to do was get some dinner, and you couldn’t even do that! You're so fucking useless.’   
  
    And maybe Josh was right. Mickey _was_ grumpy a lot of the time; he could get easily frustrated when Josh didn’t deserve it. Mickey knew he really did want a job to spend time away from Josh, and he felt so guilty about that now that he thought about it. Josh was right, and Mickey knew it.   
  
    Letting out a deep sigh, Mickey came over to Josh and wrapped his arms around him. ‘I’m sorry, man. I should’ve just gotten dinner and come home.’   
  
    Josh wrapped his arms around Mickey, running a hand gently through his hair. ‘It’s okay, babe. You can keep the job if you want, just try not to work too many shifts. I’d miss you too much.’   
  
    Mickey nodded and began to feel calmer, knowing that it was over. Things could be good again, even if Mickey was still kind of annoyed. All he had to do was let it go and pretend it didn’t bother him anymore. He could forget about it. He could keep Josh smiling and everything would be okay.   
  
    Little did Mickey know, Josh was smiling. He had a huge, smug grin as he hugged his fiancée. Things had gone his way, in more ways than one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based the fight off of my own personal experience with emotional abuse/manipulation. It was actually really hard for me to write it because I kept being convinced by Josh that his behaviour is okay? I know it sounds weird, but I've been in that situation before so it's easy to write Mickey's reaction: a mixture of angry/guilty/confused/doubtful. I feel like this shows how victims of emotional abuse can be persuaded and manipulated into feeling like they are the horrible one, even if they're not. I hope this comes through and I hope I haven't upset anyone. Please let me know what you think so if it's not good enough, I can change future chapters to be better!

**Author's Note:**

> ALSO: I got a Tumblr! Come talk to me: hopelessandweak :)


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